#ChickLitLove: Valentine's Romantic Excerpt

So, while I love to read romance, I really had no idea how to write it. My favorite part is the witty banter and the palpable tension that my favorite authors create with their words. I wanted so much to be able to create that in my own works. I hope I was able. For those of you who haven't read it, here is a romantic scene, at the end of the first date between Maggie and Ryan from GOOD INTENTIONS:

The conversation was easy and fun.  I laughed a lot, and I was pretty sure he was enjoying himself too.  Before I knew it, the bartender was announcing last call, yelling out, “You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here!”  In disbelief, I looked at my watch.  1:45 a.m.  I wasn’t even tired.  Wow. 

Ryan stood up to leave.  He really was stunning looking in his dark slacks and cream shirt that showed off his olive complexion.  I sighed and stood up.  “You okay?” he asked, concerned.  I forced a smile and lied, “Just tired.”  I really didn’t want this evening to end and it made me sad.  Even though he was beautiful, it was more than that.  I liked him, his personality.  He was funny and easy to be around.  He intrigued me, which is more that I can say for most of the guys I meet.  I wanted to talk to him for days on end.  Oh well.  Maybe I’d see him in a few weeks at Matt’s.  It was football season.  Maybe we could watch a game together. 

He put his arm around my waist again, and guided me out of the bar.  It was a sweet gesture, more protective than romantic.  He had already seen my impressive balance.  He probably didn’t want to be embarrassed by having to watch me fall again.  I took advantage of the situation by leaning in slightly.  Got to make lemonade where you can.  We walked in silence back to my apartment.  When we got to my stoop, I fished my keys out of my purse.  Suddenly, his grip around my waist tightened and he pulled me into him.  I looked up at him with a surprised look on my face.  “I promised Matt I’d take care of you, didn’t I?  Let’s get you home and into bed,” he murmured, as his free hand tipped my chin up.  I closed my eyes and let him kiss me.  Wow.  That was all I could think was wow.  How was this happening?  His lips were firm against mine, and his breath was hot.  I couldn’t feel my feet again.  I was afraid I was going to faint. 

I pulled my head back and looked up at him.  He was probably about six-foot-two, so that gave him almost a foot on me.  A little less tonight with the killer heels.  I smiled tentatively.  He returned the smile.  “I’ve been waiting to do that all night.  Are you going to invite me up?” he asked hopefully.  “Um, okay, I guess” I stammered, as I fumbled with my keys and opened the outside door.  I wanted to take his hand as I led him up the stairs, but I wasn’t sure.  What kind of message would that send?  What kind of message did I want to send?  I was pretty sure I could have him spend the night.  Did I want that?  HELL YES.  No, wait, that would be bad.  No, it would probably be really good.  No, I could not let this happen.  Oh crap.

I led him up to my second-floor apartment and unlocked the door.  As I was pushing it open, he grabbed me again and started kissing me.  We staggered through the door and shut it behind us.  I held onto a shred of rational thought (how?) and directed us towards the living room, going right past my bedroom door.  That at least gave me a fighting chance of saving some dignity.  A very slim chance.  I pushed him down to sit on the couch and straddled his legs, sitting on his lap.  We continued the make-out session with our arms around each other, bodies pressed close together.  Eventually, and I’m still not sure how, I stopped and pulled away slightly.  “I’m not being a very good host.  Can I get you something?” I managed to croak out. 

He had his head buried in my neck and was kissing along my collar bone.  One of his hands was caressing my thigh, underneath my dress.  “Um, I’m good.  Really good.”  He stopped and smiled up at me.  I couldn’t help it, I burst out laughing.  Ryan smiled, but didn’t get the joke.  “Not the reaction I was hoping for.  Is this not good?”

“Oh no, it’s very good.  Too good.  I almost don’t want you to leave.”  Damn straight I did not want him to leave.  It had been a really long time since I had had even this much action.  Let alone with a guy as hot as Ryan.  But I didn’t want to seem too easy either.  Would it be wrong if I imprisoned him here in my apartment forever?  Get a grip.  I used the pause in the action to remove myself from his lap and sit down next to him.  I snuggled into his side, keeping his arm around me.  “Music,” I finally said.

“What about it?”

“I should put some on.  It’s too quiet.”  I was afraid that he could hear my heart racing.

And because I said I'd give a little glimpse, here is a small excerpt from my upcoming novel, HOLD HER DOWN. Warning, this novel is not a romance. This scene is about as romantic as you get for the entire book. Enjoy the sneak peak!

"You always were a little on the stubborn side."
"Sometimes I still am—" she trailed off, swatting at a mosquito who was buzzing her hair. Her hand knocked the hair clip, loosening it a bit. Elizabeth hated the feeling of a loose hair clip, and with a fluid motion, pulled it out, her chestnut hair falling on her shoulders and down her back like a silk curtain.
Jack shifted suddenly, leaning forwards. "Your hair—"
Elizabeth immediately started gathering it up behind her head, preparing to put it up again.
"No, leave it down."
His words were strong, almost with a sense of urgency. She couldn't help but let her hair fall down. The ends of her hair brushing her bare skin made her feel sultry and sexy. She could almost feel it radiating from her. She put her hands on the table, now fidgeting with her hair clip. He put his hand on hers to still it. Slowly, she met his gaze.
"I'm glad you listened to me."
With a wrinkled brow, she asked, "What do you mean?"
"Your hair. You let it grow out. And you're closer to the color you used to have in high school. It looks better this way."
She didn't want to let on, but she really didn't know what he was talking about. She stared at his face for a moment, searching her brain. His blue eyes were intense and probing. She felt bared before him, but was unsure of why.
"I mean, not that it looked bad before, well, but frankly, it did."
"Gee, thanks. You certainly have a way with words."
He smiled, his eyes going all crinkly. "You know what I mean. You look good. Healthy. And really ho— I mean, you look very beautiful tonight."


  1. I loved Good intentions and I know I will love Hold Her Down now too!

  2. Thanks Hilary! I can't wait for HOLD HER DOWN to make its debut.


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