Thursday, September 18, 2014

Finding the Balance

Like pretty much every other mother right now, I'm digging my way out of the trenches. School has started. Yipee! Crap!

I love this time of year. I dread this time of year.

Three weeks into school, we're now in full swing. Dance lessons. Cub scouts. Girl scouts. Music lessons. Soccer. Religion. Not to mention school. And homework. Always the homework. I feel like every moment of my kids' day is scheduled. And while it keeps us running, I hate it. I hate when my ten year-old literally begs me for ten more minutes at night so he can play. I know he needs his sleep but he needs his play as well.

Fifth grade is serious business. They're changing classes and are responsible for managing all their materials, moving from class to class. It's a hard adjustment for most of the kids, and then add on ADD on top of it. Throw into the mix consequences for missed homework (read: detention) and stress is at an all time high.

Here's the breakdown of our afternoons: The kids get off the bus around 4 p.m. My son cannot work all day at school and then come in and do homework. We figured that out years ago. The kids get a snack and can relax, watch TV or play for a little while. Homework gets started at 5 p.m. We used to do dinner around 5:30-5:45, but I'm finally realizing that the kids aren't hungry quite yet (due to the snack, which they need). It takes my son about an hour to an hour and a half every night to do his homework. He plays an instrument, so he has to practice 30 minutes. He has to read for 20 minutes. When you add up the time, including dinner it is three hours. Bedtime for him is 8:30. That gives him 90 minutes (on a non-shower, no activity night) to play, relax, talk. To be a kid. On shower nights, it is about 60 minutes (he takes looooong showers).

Last week, we had a cub scout hike that was smack dab in the middle of homework time. He had to finish homework after, during his TV/relaxing time and then shower in the morning. This change to the routine stressed him out and he kept saying that we should not have done the hike (even though it is the type of thing he totally loves).

My second grader is the social butterfly who does dance and scouts and soccer and is still begging for playdates. She has boundless energy and a willfulness that may just break me (don't tell her I said that). Last year, we battled over homework and reading. This year, so far (fingers crossed), she's motivated and committed and she finds herself wanting to be loud and boisterous because her homework is done while her brother is still trying to focus.

We're all tired. For me, it's going to get worse as I go back to work next week. The papers have already started to pour in and clutter the kitchen. We're doing our best to keep on top of that so that it is not another thing to throw us out of balance.

We run a pretty structured ship around here. It is what my kids need (and myself as well) to be successful. With the hubs and I passing like ships in the night as we shuttle the kids from one thing to another, we have to have good communication and set expectations. Sometimes things fall through the cracks and it throws our balance out of whack. But we just hop back on the ball and keep going.

(Note: this is not me. Sometimes, I can carry plates without dropping them. That is all.)

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