A dozen years of marriage.
Twelve years ago today, I left Kate Kopach behind and became Kathryn Biel. I was so very sure of my decision. Well, except for those brief moments the day before when Pat almost missed the rehearsal. Then I questioned everything. By the wedding day, I was nervous, anxious even, but sure of my decision.
I can't picture my life any differently. Sure, sometimes I try. Sometimes, like when I hear music from my college days, I wax nostalgically upon days gone by and wish for another chance. But when I am honest with myself, I know that this is all I've ever wanted.
Sure, there are days (or nights, depending on what we're going through), that I play the "If only" game. There are times when I want to hit my husband in the head with a frying pan. There are days when I want to pull my hair out. There are moments when I want to run away. But all those moments are fleeting, and are often a result of my own shortcomings in being able to deal with this thing called life.
Marriage is tough work. No doubt about it. But I cannot picture my life with anyone but Pat in it (Ok, maybe Henry Cavill, if you really pressed me for an answer). Some days are easy. Some are so unbelievably hard that I don't think we'll survive. But we do, and we come out stronger for it.
When we laugh together, everything cements together, stronger for the next time something tries to shake us. Our children further provide the glue that binds our family together. We, Pat and I, created this life together. We built the people, we designed the house. We sculpt the roles so that each of us becomes a better person. I often get irritated when upon hearing that we have a boy and a girl, people will say, "Oh you have the perfect family!" Having a boy and a girl does not make us perfect. Our four personalities together, the dynamics we have created, that is what makes us perfect and complete.
Here I was a dozen years ago:
I totally smashed the cake on Pat's face, but only after he did it to me first. I had warned him not to do it. In hindsight, I wish I hadn't done that, but we were having fun. That is one of the things that makes Pat and I work--our senses of humor mesh well. Not everyone else finds me so amusing.
Here is a good shot of our wedding party. Now, between all of us, there are FIFTEEN children! The ring bearer is starting his freshman year at St. John's (Good luck, Tony!) and the Jr. Bridesmaid is on a semester abroad in Italy (Divertirsi, Genny!). We had good friends and family who stood by us and made our day special.
|Oh, see the bridesmaid directly behind me? We got married on her birthday. Happy Birthday Christine!|